First and foremost, it's Friday which means a visit to the perinatologist. Uneventful, which is good, another 8/8 on our biophysical profile, and a growth scan today.
Mr. Parker Edward Knoll is currently weighing in at 6 pounds, 6 ounces. This is approximately the size of a baby two weeks older than him, but I will take it quite happily. I am huge person, my husband is a huge person, and Jeremiah has been huge since he was conceived. We like 'em big.
His practice breathing was great, which is always encouraging. I am decidedly uncomfortable this week, with more frequent contractions and some accompanying pains. All of that is normal for a 36 weeks pregnant lady, but when I stood up to walk back to the exam rooms, sweet Lorrie (the nurse who sees me every Friday) said, "Ohhhhhh. That baby is ready to come out." There is a noticeable difference since last week. Whatevs, P-nut, do what you need to do but hang on for 21 more days!
Scratch that 21 days business. That sounds like forever. Let's go with 3 weeks.
We got some adorable pictures of his pouty mouth and his gigantic cheeks. I am so excited about meeting this little one!
We went to visit him and Leisa (children's director) on Wednesday, He is a wonderful, wonderful man. We talked through Parker's situation, and he prayed over us. Leisa prayed over us. I spent the majority of the hour doing the ugly cry, never moreso than when Chuck said, "Mike, come pray for your wife and son."
My husband is many things to many people, but what he is NOT is a talker or an emotional guy. He's a police officer, so his standard response to stress is to go straight to business mode. He loves and feels deeply, he just shows instead of tells. (being a dad is turning him into a big old softie, though. It amuses me!) Laying his soul out to God in front of other people is most definitely not something he's accustomed to. Bless his soul, he stepped right up and did it and it was beautiful. EVERYONE was doing the ugly cry by the end of that, but I will most definitely put it up there as one of the defining moments in our marriage. I love that man with every fiber of my being.
**I should add, however, that due to the emotional nature of our afternoon, we had to go get an iced coffee afterwards. Told you.**
Here's the part where I record the things we took with us on Wednesday, so that during my low times I can look back on this and remember:
1) The God of All Creation is holding Parker. Has been this whole time, and will be forever. He is now, and will be, right there with him saying, "I've got ya, buddy." *that's where the ugly cry started for me*
2) He hears our prayers. His heart is swayed by them. We may or may not get answers in the form we'd like to see, but what kind of God would He be if He did what we told him to?
3) We don't know the purpose for Parker's life just yet, except that his life will work for the glory of God. It might be that Parker grows up and gives a testimony to thousands about how God healed him despite debilitating odds. It might be that Parker stays with us a short time, but helps us draw closer to God during whatever time we have with him.
4) We can't let this affect our marriage. We took vows to keep God in the center of our marriage through thick and thin, and this will be a test of that. If we keep our eyes on Him, we can keep our eyes on each other.
5) "50-50" are man-made odds. God is in control 100% of the time.
6) "The church best becomes the church when you NEED the church." This is so very true. We are blessed to be in a church where we feel loved, supported, and know without a shadow of a doubt that we are being prayed for constantly. *this is a tremendous lesson in opening yourself up to admit your struggles and accept the hands that stretch out to help you. I actually had to convince myself to write "my baby needs prayers" on the bulletin and drop it in the basket one offering. I hemmed and hawed and fretted about it, which seems ridiculous now. Within 24 hours of me doing so, and every week since, we have been loved on and comforted and prayed for. There are many wonderful people at our church who will do, and have done, anything they can to help us. Such a blessing!*