Back to the perinatologist today. Parker did great-- 8/8 on biophysical #2 (non-stress test Tuesday for the additional 2 points). Pretty quick and easy, but he didn't cooperate much for pictures. Poor booger is probably tired of posing for the camera!
They re-examined his abdomen after last week's unidentified shadowing. There still doesn't appear to be any liver in the chest cavity, and the mysterious area from last week might actually be lung tissue. We will happily take lung tissue over misplaced liver any day!!
There was more stomach up today than there has been at any past appointment. It's a fluid organ and can shift up and down pretty easily, but I still felt disheartened. This has been a rough month for some mommy friends (real life and Internet style), and it's weighing heavily on my mind.
Two mommy friends lost babies, one to CDH related complications and one not.
Two CDH babies (Jude and Killian) have been in the NICU for four months. They have both had tremendous highs and disheartening lows. Their little bodies are tired, and their families are exhausted. They have been told their fights will continue for weeks to come.
The first of my co-expectant mommies, Rhonda, had baby Esther yesterday. They were told the night before induction not to expect Esther to make it more than a few hours. She has defied all odds, is here and gorgeous and fighting so hard. She's on ECMO and has a tremendous battle in front of her.
Since we learned about Parker's diagnosis, I pretty much made it a policy to focus on survivor stories. Here and there I've come across some non-survivor stories, and as heartbreaking as they are, it's good for me. I've gotten support from mommies who watched their little ones beat this thing, and support from mommies who had to let their little ones go.
Both paths used to seem a lifetime away. Parker has been happily cooking for 33 weeks, and so long as he is with me he is warm, safe, and healthy. Unfortunately, warm-safe-happy time is going to run out in a month, and we will be in for the fight of our lives. For some reason, this all piled up this particular week and hearing, "There is significantly more stomach up than usual" today has put me in a funk.
Time to readjust our focus-
Positives. The liver is still down. He's continuing to perform well on his biophysicals. He still has 5 weeks to get ready to fight for his life. I have every confidence in our medical team (all 40 of them). We continue to be amazed by the love and support of our family and friends and complete strangers. We have been offered every type of help imaginable.
Time to go before God with our prayers-
Peace and comfort for mommies who said goodbye to their little ones. Continued strength and perseverance for the babies currently fighting in NICUs. Guidance for our medical team. Praises for Parker's "favorable outcome" predictions thus far. Prayers for Parker's stomach to get out of the way already. Courage for Mike and I.
Boo to Debbie Downer days. They are pretty few and far between, and for that I am grateful. I have to allow them to happen occasionally, or else I'll go bonkers. I expect more of them to come in the month leading to Parker's birth- I am tired, I am grouchy, I am anxious. Time to go re-read my Between the Hedges post and to count my blessings.
"Name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done."